Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
FUCK WHALES
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
