Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
