No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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