this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
