Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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