i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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