Whoa Z and x make the same sound
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
