Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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