Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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