she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I love you. Go after that dick
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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