and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
