Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
