I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
