...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
