brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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