So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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