I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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