you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
