i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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