you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
