my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Randomize
