Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So much rum. So many feels.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
