u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
