My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
