it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
