I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
