You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
