I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
