Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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