So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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