Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
