it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
