I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
