Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize