take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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