I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Found the puke drawer
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
