Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
