As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
