You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
