Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
