You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
