He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
