I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
