We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Fuck me I smell like cheese
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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