i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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