as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
