I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
