i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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