No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
