So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
