I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
