i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
